Love. Radically.

I came home from 2 weeks in Uganda, East Africa, ready to set the world on fire. As I served beside men and women who have given up what they cannot keep to serve poverty-stricken people, I passed out not only rice and beans and chicken to outcast children who would probably have gone hungry otherwise, I passed out a tangible piece of hope and love from our Savior. 

We prayed over those rice and beans, that as those dear, dear children ate, they would learn about a Savior who loves them and will satisfy their every need.

It's hard to serve among side ministries like Amazima who literally feed starving children and then come home.

home to middle class suburban America. Where we have fancy four-dollar coffees on every corner and super Targets that compel us to throw one more cute {but unnecessary} item into our plentiful cart.

I came home wanting to set the world on fire. 

Here, in middle class America.

But how? 

how do I make such a difference here as I felt like I did in sub-sahara Africa? 

That is what I wrestled with.

Yes, there are food pantries that I can {and do} donate to. and volunteer with.

There are lots of charities and organizations that need help.

But none of them seemed to fit. 

None seemed personal enough.

I just wanted to pass out figurative rice and beans in my neighborhood -- to say to my friends, neighbors, community---I will love you because Christ first loved me.

how?

I prayed. And prayed. And prayed some more.

humbly seeking the Lord's direction

on how in the world I could make such a difference here in suburbia.

And then in my Bible reading I came to 1 Corinthians 13. It's such a well-read passage at weddings, but it spoke to me. and continues to.

"if I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or clanging cymbal...and If I have all faith, as if to move mountains,

But have not love, I am nothing."

And here's what answered my prayer about setting my small world that God has placed me in on fire.

"If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love,

I gain nothing."

You see, I could go to Africa. 

I could sell everything and move there and feed starving children.

But if I have not love, I.gain.nothing.

And that's when the answer to my months of prayer came.

I.must.love.

We are told that the rest of this world will know we are different because of our love.

{John 13:35}

That the second greatest commandment is to love our neighbor {and the biblical definition of neighbor is anyone who is in need} like our self.

For months I've been challenge by this, 

and I think i will be until the day my faith becomes sight.

For me, personally, making a radical difference starts right.here. With the husband I fell in love with over 10 years ago and the children we desperately wanted, tried for, prayed for. It starts with the neighbors I walk around the block with. The people in my church family.

Am I loving them?

am I being kind, patient, and selfless with them?

as my 2 year old wants me to play with her, but I really have 1,429 things on my to-do list, am loving her? By simply remembering these years won't last forever and playing baby dolls up my sweet girl?

As our 4 year old melts down before bed am I patient with him, knowing he's just tired and a good hug and goodnight kiss are what he needs instead of an impatient momma telling him to hurry it up with the pajama process?

I could move to Africa and feel like I'm changing the world.

But if I'm not showing love right here, right now,

I am nothing.

I fail, of course, and praise Hm for His forgiveness when I do. 

but for now, I remain in suburban America, 

passing out my own version of rice and beans to my family and friends.

By trying to love them.

Radically.