Love. Radically.

I came home from 2 weeks in Uganda, East Africa, ready to set the world on fire. As I served beside men and women who have given up what they cannot keep to serve poverty-stricken people, I passed out not only rice and beans and chicken to outcast children who would probably have gone hungry otherwise, I passed out a tangible piece of hope and love from our Savior. 

We prayed over those rice and beans, that as those dear, dear children ate, they would learn about a Savior who loves them and will satisfy their every need.

It's hard to serve among side ministries like Amazima who literally feed starving children and then come home.

home to middle class suburban America. Where we have fancy four-dollar coffees on every corner and super Targets that compel us to throw one more cute {but unnecessary} item into our plentiful cart.

I came home wanting to set the world on fire. 

Here, in middle class America.

But how? 

how do I make such a difference here as I felt like I did in sub-sahara Africa? 

That is what I wrestled with.

Yes, there are food pantries that I can {and do} donate to. and volunteer with.

There are lots of charities and organizations that need help.

But none of them seemed to fit. 

None seemed personal enough.

I just wanted to pass out figurative rice and beans in my neighborhood -- to say to my friends, neighbors, community---I will love you because Christ first loved me.

how?

I prayed. And prayed. And prayed some more.

humbly seeking the Lord's direction

on how in the world I could make such a difference here in suburbia.

And then in my Bible reading I came to 1 Corinthians 13. It's such a well-read passage at weddings, but it spoke to me. and continues to.

"if I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or clanging cymbal...and If I have all faith, as if to move mountains,

But have not love, I am nothing."

And here's what answered my prayer about setting my small world that God has placed me in on fire.

"If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love,

I gain nothing."

You see, I could go to Africa. 

I could sell everything and move there and feed starving children.

But if I have not love, I.gain.nothing.

And that's when the answer to my months of prayer came.

I.must.love.

We are told that the rest of this world will know we are different because of our love.

{John 13:35}

That the second greatest commandment is to love our neighbor {and the biblical definition of neighbor is anyone who is in need} like our self.

For months I've been challenge by this, 

and I think i will be until the day my faith becomes sight.

For me, personally, making a radical difference starts right.here. With the husband I fell in love with over 10 years ago and the children we desperately wanted, tried for, prayed for. It starts with the neighbors I walk around the block with. The people in my church family.

Am I loving them?

am I being kind, patient, and selfless with them?

as my 2 year old wants me to play with her, but I really have 1,429 things on my to-do list, am loving her? By simply remembering these years won't last forever and playing baby dolls up my sweet girl?

As our 4 year old melts down before bed am I patient with him, knowing he's just tired and a good hug and goodnight kiss are what he needs instead of an impatient momma telling him to hurry it up with the pajama process?

I could move to Africa and feel like I'm changing the world.

But if I'm not showing love right here, right now,

I am nothing.

I fail, of course, and praise Hm for His forgiveness when I do. 

but for now, I remain in suburban America, 

passing out my own version of rice and beans to my family and friends.

By trying to love them.

Radically.

One.

When I was in Africa last winter, I was so incredibly overwhelmed at the need.  

So many orphans.  So much poverty.  So much injustice. 

What could I do?  What difference could one person make?

Well, I came to the conclusion after just 2 weeks in Africa: a lot.

To the one little boy that had been dropped off at the orphanage by his father that couldn't care for him, I could make a big difference. 

I could hold him, and tell him that I loved him and that Jesus did too.

I could show him, for the first time in his life, the love of a mother, if even for just a few days.

I could rub his cheek and dry his tears, and sing and play and clap.

x
To the precious 11 year old boy that had been strangled by his step-mom, I could talk with him, show him how to mold things with play-doh for the first time ever, build with legos.

I could tell him that his life is valuable.

To the 15-year-old girl dying of AIDS, I could hang out with her for the day, doing teenage-girly stuff like painting nails and doing hair and fixing her sewing machine.

Helping her feel like a typical teenage girl for just a day.

I couldn't make a difference for millions, but I could make a difference for one.

Although the need is still overwhelming, I've decided that not acting because of the need being so great decreases the value of an individual life.  

Sure, I probably can't make a difference for millions of orphans, but

I CAN make a difference for ONE.  

Whether it's an orphaned child in Sub-Saharan Africa or the elderly woman at church who could use loaf of banana bread and an afternoon visit, ONE person can be reached.

One life at a time, I can help.

WE can  help.

Saturday Night Thoughts

I'm supposed to be working on grad work.  Final projects due, uh, tomorrow.

I am working on it. Truly.  

Having a hard time focusing, but my night-person self is just gearing up for the evening.

Totally ignoring the fact that, uh, Sunday is kind of a big deal in our family and I'm usually in bed by this point on Saturdays.  And, I'm teaching the 3 & 4-year-old class tomorrow.  I LOVE them and LOVE teaching them. But, can I keep up with 8 or so preschoolers on 5 hours of sleep?  

I'm thinking a lot of coffee is in store!

Y'all know that I was in Africa for two weeks in February.  My heart will forever be changed.

  You simply cannot walk away from so much poverty and injustice and orphans and not be.

While we were there we met so many awesome girls and people who are living there, serving Him, and truly making a difference.  For example, Katie Davis with Amazima Ministries.  

She's in her early 20's, has adopted several beautiful girls, and runs a feeding program that serves over 1,600 children every week!

Seriously, she's making a difference. A radical difference!

And, that's been my prayer since I got back from Africa.  

That I would make a difference - a radical difference - for eternity.

The Lord hasn't put us in Ug@nda, East Africa.  But, He has put me here. right HERE.  with my beautiful family.  With our incredible church body.  With friends and family that love us.

So, as I've wrestled with balancing poverty and injustice and orphan care with Starbucks and Pottery Barn and Target, I've prayed that I will be radical. For the sake of the kingdom. in our little world, right here.

The Bishop of London said something during his sermon at the Royal wedding (which, folks, seriously, wasn't Kate just absolutely gorgeous?) that my heart has been contemplating.  

It sums up my prayer, for myself, my family...and you.

“Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.”

Now, I'm back to my Diet Coke, popcorn, and affective needs of gifted and talented students.

Good night!

Africa Re-wound, Part 1

I was planning on blogging about my trip to Africa while I was there, but computer time was shared and limited. 

But, it's okay.  

Because my heart is totally still there, so sharing my trip with you now is so good for me.

It's hard to summarize a third-world country.  So much poverty and heartache.  So much injustice. 

(Children denied medical care.  Babies who are dying, literally, because of indifferent orphanage directors.  Child prisoners who are fed one meal a day.  The injustice is mind-boggling).

But Uganda is also a beautiful, beautiful country, with warm, hard-working, open-hearted people.  There's a simplistic beauty in their way of life, and my heart will be forever changed by spending two weeks holding babies, playing with orphans, and serving people living in poverty.

Here's a glimpse.  For more, you'll have to travel yourself.  Seriously - once you go, you'll never come back. {well, you might come back in person, but your heart will never be the same. I promise.}.

Really, really good coffee in the middle-of-the-night Amsterdam.  The flight to Amsterdam passed surprisingly quickly, although I can never sleep on planes.  I had a moment of panic in the O'Hare airport, that I am so, so, so thankful that I actually boarded the plane instead of running screaming in the other direction.

 

It took a bit in the Entebbe airport to gather all of our suitcases and donation conticos. How blessed we were to be able to take so much stuff with us to pass out!

Shauna, our fearless leader, and Love, my friend who led my heart to Uganda over a year ago, eating lunch on Monday, our first full day in Kampala.

Monday we went to the babies' home that will forever have me changed.  I will forever hug my children tighter, feed them more with out any word of complaint that it's their 1,123 snack for the day, and always, always, always hold and love them even more than I always have.

Do you see the metal, rusted play equipment? And dirt?   That's what these sweet children play with.  The sweet children who wear, literally, towels for diapers.  Who have food taken.away.from.them simply because the worker wants to wash the dishes right.this.second.  Who learn to comfort themselves, because the comfort is not given freely.  

I have always, always, always believed in attachment parenting, and I will forever be even more confident in that philosophy after seeing children who stop crying in the middle of the night because no one comes.  It's heart-breaking, right?  I have cried, and will forever cry, so many tears for these sweet children.

Through my tears, though, I have to trust that the Lord loves these children even more than I do.  There will be sweet babies who will always be in my heart, and I will pray for them for the rest of my life.  I trust - I have to trust - that even amidst poverty, hunger, and injustice, the Lord will prevail. That He will be glorified.  

That He will hold them tightly in His arms, even when no one else is. 

That He will love them, when no one else does.  

{Pray for them with me, alright?}

Afternoon Snack

Snacktime.

{do you know how to cut one?}

Totally missing African pineapple right now. Well, really, totally missing Africa in general right now. 

But, I'm playing with the kids.  Cutting snacks up.  Prepping supper.  

But wishing I could share my food with some of the orphans that are starving.  

Especially one little boy, who will forever have my heart.  

Praying for him, and the rest of the 147 million orphans worldwide.  

So thankful I got to hold and love a few of them!