Saturday Night

{and this is on my heart these past few weeks.}

 

 

 

...My grace is sufficient for you...

2 Corinthians 12:2

Personality.

 Grace.  

My 2 1-2 year-old shoe thief.

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According to this quick little quiz checklist in Matt's Bible Study lesson,

I am a sanguine personality.

I hadn't taken that exact test before, but I guess it fits.

Chatty. Generous. Friendly. Optimistic.

{The glass is definitely always more-than-half full in my world!}

Energetic. Creative. Spontaneous.

A few weeks ago a friend asked me to go to Africa with her.

In 4 days.

I considered it!

This crazy checklist may have included stuff like

hard-time-following-through.  disorganized. forgetful. 

Have I mentioned that I had to scavenge in my vehicle last week for my 4-year-olds show and tell? 

i promise to start cleaning our vehicle out more, but

bless that unopened apple juice box to be our "starts with a" item that day!

I love personality tests. Really. They're a fun glimpse ourselves.

You see, sometimes (well, most of the time?) I do feel kind of, well, crazy. 

Like maybe I'm just a half a step behind responsible.

But ya know?

We are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Even in all my crazed disorganization. All of my crazed attempts to be on top of things.

Fearfully and wonderfully made.

I kinda don't feel like that as I'm praying to not run out of gas on my to preschool.

But I can trust that He is the potter.

And although my clay is kinda forgetful and undisciplined. loud and messy.

He will mold it.

Into just the shape He wants it to be.

For His glory, not mine.

And I can trust that His grace is sufficient.

So as I scavenge for show and tell and contemplate going barefoot on a Sunday morning because I cannot find my dark red faux alligator heels, 

{seriously.}

I believe that His power is made perfect in weakness.

Thank goodness, huh?

------------------

....Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, 

so that the power of Christ may rest upon me...

2 Corinthians

Childlike Faith

Our sweet Grace

who will commandeer anything in the house {like her momma's pony tail holders}

that can at-all-resemble a bracelet, necklace, or other sparkly accessory

accidentally burnt her wrist on the skillet this morning.

I was right.there. and just couldn't stop her fast enough. 

serious momma guilt over this!

lots and lots of cold water, 

{more than a few} tears and some snuggling with her Oatmeal bear later and all was fine.

And then, awhile later,

while in the car,

this sweet boy...

 

...all-of-a-sudden burst out with 

we should pray for Gracie's boo-boo.

Absolutely, buddy, we should absolutely pray for it.

You wanna pray right now?

he did.

His prayer?

Dear God,

Thank-you for today.

Thank-you that you will heal Gracie's boo-boo.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

wow. 

some serious child-like faith in that prayer, huh?

No worrying, no stressing over the situation.

simple trust that He will heal Gracie's boo-boo.

and right then,

in those few quick moments in our car, 

with Gracie holding her bear, Grant in mis-matched sweats, 

and me wearing my good-'ole running shorts,

my faith was challenged.

 

Do I pray with such faith?

that God will work?

that He will accomplish His will?

that my prayers will be answered?

I hope so. 

-------------

...But let him ask in faith, with no doubting...

James 1:6

Love. Radically.

I came home from 2 weeks in Uganda, East Africa, ready to set the world on fire. As I served beside men and women who have given up what they cannot keep to serve poverty-stricken people, I passed out not only rice and beans and chicken to outcast children who would probably have gone hungry otherwise, I passed out a tangible piece of hope and love from our Savior. 

We prayed over those rice and beans, that as those dear, dear children ate, they would learn about a Savior who loves them and will satisfy their every need.

It's hard to serve among side ministries like Amazima who literally feed starving children and then come home.

home to middle class suburban America. Where we have fancy four-dollar coffees on every corner and super Targets that compel us to throw one more cute {but unnecessary} item into our plentiful cart.

I came home wanting to set the world on fire. 

Here, in middle class America.

But how? 

how do I make such a difference here as I felt like I did in sub-sahara Africa? 

That is what I wrestled with.

Yes, there are food pantries that I can {and do} donate to. and volunteer with.

There are lots of charities and organizations that need help.

But none of them seemed to fit. 

None seemed personal enough.

I just wanted to pass out figurative rice and beans in my neighborhood -- to say to my friends, neighbors, community---I will love you because Christ first loved me.

how?

I prayed. And prayed. And prayed some more.

humbly seeking the Lord's direction

on how in the world I could make such a difference here in suburbia.

And then in my Bible reading I came to 1 Corinthians 13. It's such a well-read passage at weddings, but it spoke to me. and continues to.

"if I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or clanging cymbal...and If I have all faith, as if to move mountains,

But have not love, I am nothing."

And here's what answered my prayer about setting my small world that God has placed me in on fire.

"If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love,

I gain nothing."

You see, I could go to Africa. 

I could sell everything and move there and feed starving children.

But if I have not love, I.gain.nothing.

And that's when the answer to my months of prayer came.

I.must.love.

We are told that the rest of this world will know we are different because of our love.

{John 13:35}

That the second greatest commandment is to love our neighbor {and the biblical definition of neighbor is anyone who is in need} like our self.

For months I've been challenge by this, 

and I think i will be until the day my faith becomes sight.

For me, personally, making a radical difference starts right.here. With the husband I fell in love with over 10 years ago and the children we desperately wanted, tried for, prayed for. It starts with the neighbors I walk around the block with. The people in my church family.

Am I loving them?

am I being kind, patient, and selfless with them?

as my 2 year old wants me to play with her, but I really have 1,429 things on my to-do list, am loving her? By simply remembering these years won't last forever and playing baby dolls up my sweet girl?

As our 4 year old melts down before bed am I patient with him, knowing he's just tired and a good hug and goodnight kiss are what he needs instead of an impatient momma telling him to hurry it up with the pajama process?

I could move to Africa and feel like I'm changing the world.

But if I'm not showing love right here, right now,

I am nothing.

I fail, of course, and praise Hm for His forgiveness when I do. 

but for now, I remain in suburban America, 

passing out my own version of rice and beans to my family and friends.

By trying to love them.

Radically.

Diet Coke Break.

This beautiful girl is napping.

So I take a break from the laundry and toys that await.

And sit down with a Diet Coke and my Bible.

For we need Him, don't we?

so much.

And I read about how 

He satisfies me with good so that my youth is renewed like the eagle's.

and I pray that the Lord will work justice and righteousness for a very special friend who's in Uganda right now trying to bring her 2 sweet boys home. and home soon.

I praise the Lord that He is mericful and gracious.

That he does not deal with me according to my sins.

and that His Love is steadfast.

{psalms 103}

And a few pages over, 

I am challenged by the Woman of Proverbs 31.

She dresses herself with strength. 

She reaches her hands to the poor.

and she laughs at the time to come.

So.much.confidence in the Lord that she can laugh at the days ahead.

In my head, I picture her envisioning the future.  

smiling, shaking her head.

saying, 

Okay, Lord.  It's all yours.  

We are in your hands.  

Whatever you have for us, we will walk humbly. 

Your will be done.

I pray I can say the same. 

that my confidence in this Lord of ours will.not.be.shaken.

Even if the days ahead include more health crises like, um, toxic shock.

juvenile rheumatoid arthritis.

words like leukemia. spinal tap. sepsis.

and thus I know that I can laugh at the days ahead.

For our Lord holds them.

and we are 

in

His

Hands.