a moment of honesty




{this post deviates a bit from my norm here on my blog...
i'm a bit hesitant, honestly, to share it.
but, I've been reading a couple of other blogs of pastor's wives and their honesty and glimpses into ministry are so refreshing and interesting. so, I thought I'd share a bit of our minsitry life with you.
even though I'm tempted to just hit "delete post" right.this.second. eek!}

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six years ago my husband graduated from Dallas Theological Seminary 
with a masters of theology.

one of my favorite pictures of Matt and myself, taken on his graduation weekend.  Dallas, May, 2005.



{and for the record? we absolutely loved Dallas. 
loved the educaction and the experiences. seriously.
Miss Dallas life, but definitely am a midwestern girl at heart 
and am happy to be back home again}.
we have served in full-time church ministry since then.

Through {just} six years of ministry, I have learned a lot. 
we have learned a lot. for the better and for the worse.
the position of "pastor's wife" can be a hard one, but also a really, really rewarding one.
I have lots and lots I could share, but today, I'm going to say one thing.  
one thing that you could do that could really encourage the pastor's wife of the church you attend.

{sit by her.}

seriously. that easy.

I may be the only pastor's wife that feels like this, but for me, 
it's kinda awkward to figure out where to sit.
{I know, seriously, this sound so small and insignificant. 
it's not. trust me}.

I walk into the sanctuary on a Sunday morning, 
{or even for special meetings, dinners, events}
saying hi to as many people as I can, making an effort to greet as many people as I can
{but then, at some point, I gotta sit.}

if I sit by the same person every week I feel like I'm going to play favorites.
sometimes I feel like I'll interrupt people's families or friends or groups if I sit down next to them.
 if I sit by myself I feel like people are going think I'm cold or isolating.

seriously, this whole where-to-sit issue?
i'm sure i over-analyze it.
but also? for me, at least?
it can feel really, really awkward.

{to be super honest for a moment? sometimes I seriously make a point of getting a last-minute-cup-of-coffee just to be able to sneak in the back and avoid this whole issue}.

So, this Sunday?
sit by your pastor's wife during church.
it will make her feel more normal.
less isolated. less like the odd-man-out.
i promise.

and then? tell me if you do. 
and I'll say thank-you on her behalf.






Leave a Comment

Shauna said...

Never really thought about it but now that you mention it - I TOTALLY see that. [and for the record: I would sit by you ;)]

Danna said...

Thank you for sharing this post. I had never thought about this before, but I can see how it would feel. I agree with the lady that commented before me, I would totally sit with you as well :)

Allison said...

Thanks for this. I have 3 best friends. One is a pastor's wife. One is a youth pastor's wife and the other is a pastor's daughter. They all have told me at some time or another they feel isolated because of who they are. Sadly, I don't actually go to church with any of them, but they have all said how much they appreciate my loving on them because I want to, not because of who the man in their life is.

Chrissy said...

Oh Anna! I can only imagine. Now that Robert works in sound booth on occasion, I feel seat-finding anxiety, too. And you have that every week! I will sit with you more! But you can't hide too much before hand, or I won't find you :).
{I really did look for you last Sunday since I was going it alone and couldn't find you. Now I know why!!!!}

Jody Britton said...

So true! I've tried to sit w/ various people throughout the years... but I"m always early, and find my seat before many people are there. People will come in, see me sitting alone, say hello, and then sit somewhere else. Unless I am late for services, I honestly will sit alone every week, with numerous people passing me with a smile and hello. So lonely. Thank you for this honesty!

Carly said...

I realize this is an old post, but I stumbled on your blog after seeing your husband's job posting on the TGC board for an associate pastor this week and I've read your blog like a book the past few days! My husband is an associate pastor in upstate NY and I feel this often (as well as many other isolating factors)...although I have 2 little girls under 4 so they're usually my excuse to sit in the back so I can sneak out if needed when my husband is preaching or busy on a Sunday a.m. You are not alone. :)