Happy Due Date Day, Baby Girl!

Grace,

9 months ago 2 pink lines changed our lives. I was thrilled to be pregnant, but was such a mix of emotions! Little did I know how much the next months would hold...hyperemesis, 3 pulmonary embolisms, pre-eclampsia - what a journey it would be to get to the day I would hold you in my arms!

But, looking back on this pregnancy saga, my heart is full of wonder. The day I found out I was pregnant with you, I wrote this in my pregnancy journal:

I'm also just praying that no matter what, I'll be able to sense the Lord's presence in all of this. That's what I really want - to be able to feel the hand of God on our lives.

Although I would've preferred to do with out the many hospitalizations, my prayer from last September was overwhelmingly answered. Although in the midst of it all I sometimes wondered what in the world the Lord's plan was, I definitely sensed His presence in it all. The morning of my first pulmonary embolism, I sat at the kitchen table, enjoying a belated Christmas brunch with my parents. My chest hurt, and I thought it was a pulled muscle from tripping the night before - little did I know how serious my chest pain really was! The Lord gave my Matria nurse incredible wisdom to hear my symptoms over the phone and send me straight to the ER.

And, Grace, the Lord continued to give us all of the right doctors at the right times to protect both you and me through an incredibly long 33 1/2 weeks. I am amazed that you and I could be so healthy, after months of health difficulties.

You are such a miracle baby, Miss Grace. I think I will never, ever forget that life-altering moment in the OR when I heard your first little squeak of a cry. You brought tears to my eyes at one minute old, sweet girl, as you entered this world screaming.

My heart does wonder what could have been had we been able to make it longer into the pregnancy. I feel like my body held on as long as possible...through the nausea, the pain, the exhaustion... to be able to grow you as strong as possible. I wish that you didn't have to have any nicu time, but even through the nicu journey, I saw the Lord answer our prayers for you over and over again. Here's a prayer I wrote for you at just 24 hours old:

I know you love Grace more than I do. I have to trust in that. You’ll take care of her, just as you’ve taken care of me and her these past months of pregnancy. Please, Lord, let her sleep peacefully tonight. Let her rest without laboring too hard to breathe. Please let her lungs mature faster than we thought would be possible. I pray that even in a few hours when I call the nicu for an update we’ll get just fantastic news.

And, Sweet Baby Grace, when I called the nicu that morning, we did get fantastic news - you were breathing easier, with no continuing concern of intubation, and your saturation levels continued to get better from that day on. Even the neonatologist told us that you were progressing faster than "textbook" babies do - the Lord was working, for sure!

As I continue to "decompress" from all of the saga of this pregnancy, I am so in love with you, sweet Grace, and am in awe of the Lord's working in our lives. He is truly the creator and sustainer of life, I exalt and praise His name, "for in perfect faithfulness, the Lord has done marvelous things, things planned long ago. " (Isaiah 25:1)

Happy Due Date, Baby Girl. May your life be a testimony of God's amazing grace.