Joseph.




{hey! a brief commercial break.  Like the new look?
I'm partial to pink and gold, especially gold glitter ;-)}

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early in the morning hours,
I, once again, flip the worn pages of my Bible to the story of Joseph.

my steaming cup of coffee - in one of my favorite mugs, a deep sunshine yellow -
 warming my hand,
i read the words, searching for answers.

it's not a secret that it's been a hard few months for us.
well, really, a hard year.

but as I have started to emerge from this all-encompassing vortex called 
{adoption and adoption loss} I have been living in the past year, 
and started to re-connect with our lives as they should be,
i've learned it's been a hard year for lots of my friends as well.

and my heart hurts for them, too.

our lives are just hard, and this side of eternity, we won't have answers our hearts desperately seek.

--

Joseph.

rejected by his brothers,
sold into slavery,
thrown into a pit.

his life wasn't making sense.
our lives for the past year?
they make no sense
and believe me, I have asked my questions.

But I get to verse 2 of Genesis 39, and my heart pauses.

{but the Lord was with him and he prospers}

the Lord was with him in the midst of the confusion.
in the midst of the pit, in the midst of the being sold into slavery,
 in the midst of the being rejected by his family,
{the Lord was with him}.

and my tears come.

the Lord is with me.
and for that moment, the moment in the depth of the pain and grief, I cling to that verse.

{the Lord was with him}

aand pray that it will be enough for my heart.
that the truth of
{the Lord is with me}
will be bigger than all my questions.

I pray it will be enough for your heart, too.

Leave a Comment

Deedle said...

Oh, Anna, you brought me to tears as well. These last few months have made me cling to the fact that "the Lord is with me." Mom's cancer, surgery and the "18-24 month prognosis" - all of these force me to hold God's hand with a finger-crushing grip. Thank you for the reminder that He will not leave me. Just like he stood with Joseph, he will be there for me. Blessings to you, my sweet sister.

Heather Nelsen said...

One- I LOVE the new look! And two- this is beautiful. Such simple truth that's so hard to cling to when life gets hard. Thinking about you friend. :)

Anna said...

Heather, thanks! And yes, SO hard to cling to. Making a conscience choice to believe it!

Anna said...

oh, Dee! I'm so sorry for your hard few months. Sometimes the weight of this world comes crashing in. Will pray for you!

Lindsay said...

I've appreciated reading your posts tonight...I'm so thankful for the community IG provides...and I'm looking forward to being encouraged by all you wonderful bloggers in the adoption community as we begin to navigate our own journey. Lifting you up in prayer tonight!

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