Another JRA update

Sweet Grant.

He's my favorite-four-year-old.

{although he will quickly tell you he is four-and-a-half}!

 he's changing from preschooler-to-little-boy right.before.my.eyes.

he's playing with his tractors less and transformers more.

his logic abilities astound me and his eating abilities seriously surprise me!

he's funny and extremely observant.

{and wakes up with his knees hurting almost daily}.

his juvenile rheumatoid arthritis has taken us on an almost-year-long-journey so far.

last week we had another appointment with the really fabulous rheumatologist.

it made me so, so thankful.

so thankful that we walk into the children's hospital instead of push him in.

so thankful that we turn left towards rheumatology and not right towards oncology.

so thankful that three small pills keep his joint pain and fatigue under control.

so thankful that he has no more swelling in any joints.

{no more swelling!!}

about his knee pain?

the rheumatologist said that it's actually a good sign - meaning that when we give him the medicine, the pain goes away.  it's kind of the best-case-scenario with JRA.

so, good news.

for now, it's status quo.

three small pills and lots of prayer for remission. i can handle this. 

so, so thankful for a very manageable, very treatable disease.

and so, so thankful for my sweet four-and-a-HALF year-old.

grant owen, 

you

are

so

prayed for.

Thanksgiving Eve

It's the day before Thanksgiving and

I called my best friend four times today.

we met when we were 15.

and pretty much have been best friends since.

the crazy thing is is that I never had important stuff to tell her...

i told her how it doesn't feel like Christmas to me yet, though my trip to the mall

with all of the pre-black-friday shoppers; the Christmas decoration; salvation army bells...

it started to get me excited.

a four-year-old exclaiming Christmas lights! Santa! toys! it's CHRISTMAS! was helping. 

i told her how much the small things made me happy today.

like pretty eggs.

homemade burlap wreaths.

and warm chocolate brown paint for our sunroom that looks 

extra cozy with twinkly white lights added in the windows.

we chatted about our Thanksgivings.

We're spending tomorrow as everyone should

{lots of family and lots of food!}

if I were to call you today 

{if even to just tell you about my Bobbi Brown make up purchase}

I'd tell you that I'd hope you were going to drama-free family tomorrow. that you'd have your favorite food just the way you would serve it, and that you'd be surrounded by love.

May your Thanksgiving, wherever you're at, be blessed!

---------

...When you have eaten and are satisfied, 

praise the LORD your God....

deut. 8:10

Sunday

Sunday.

 {a day late}

 grace abigail. after church.
trying to figure out her momma's {sparklies}.
and don't you just die-with-cute over that dress?
i do.

---------------

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me;
your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.
Do not forsake the work of your hands.

Psalm 138:8

today, 
 i walk by faith, not by sight.
it's a relief that He will fulfill His purpose for me.
as I pray to be radically obedient to our Savior, 
I rest in this promise from the Psalms.
He has a purpose for my life.
that's more than eternal piles of laundry.
I let go trying to figure out the what and when of the purpose out.

today,
I walk by faith, not by sight.
 thank goodness, huh?
because if I walked by sight, sometimes my life would be running into walls.
i'd be frustrated. confused. 
I walk by faith. 
and i'm content. at rest.
with confidence in the One my faith is placed.


today, I walk by faith.
---------------

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me;
your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.
Do not forsake the work of your hands.

Psalm 138:8

breathing.

Right now,

{I kinda smell like throw-up}.

it was naptime.

We were rocking.

and then coughing.

and then throw up.

And with that, my day changed.

these will wait.

the crazy mounds of laundry will get folded

{shirt by shirt}

eventually.

i sigh.

for a moment,

i wish.

to not step over legos.

to not go from sickness-to-sickness.

to sleep.

to make a phone call.

but then,

this.

and i realize.

i realize that when the day comes that i'm not stepping over legos.

the dishes and laundry are done.

the cushions are always on the couch.

when that day comes?

my heart will ache for these days.

so, for now?

i will shower the throw up off, rock the baby girl, and breathe.

----

a friend introduced me to the Extraordinary Ordinary's Just Write.

love it. 

and love my friend Love.

Today

today, my kitchen island looks like this

because my favorite four year old and I ...

 were busy making a red paper lightening-fast race track.

 

 and today, every single time this sweet girl

said {mommy hold you}...

...I stopped what I was doing

{like making potato soup for my last Bible study of the semester tonight}

 

...and I held her very, very close.

Today, I played monster trucks.

shot dart guns.

read princess books.

played tag.

got beat in tag.

rocked a baby girl to sleep.

played scientist with a preschooler.

Today, my kitchen island looks like this

and I am very, very okay with that.

Change of Plans.

oh, my.

as I just tucked my littlest in bed, I breathe a sigh of relief and sit down with this.

grande nonfat latte.  even better in a pretty red holiday cup, right?

I had big plans for today.

like maybe the children's museum, Monkey Joe's, or a host of other play options.

they all went out the window at about 10 a.m. when Grant started seeming really, really sick.

we've been battling that cough-and-cold nastiness for the past couple of weeks.

As Grant burst into tears over something seemingly small early this morning, I hugged him and right then threw my mental to-do list out the window.

We all spent the day in our jammies. 

I had Diet Coke delivered to my door. 

Jimmy Johns, i love you.

I took deep breaths, kept both sickish kids as happy as possible

{the almost 5-year-old even napped!}

and realized that nothing on my to-do list was more important than these two small sweet things.

even when Grant told me to stop smiling at him.

ya know little man, when I don't feel well, I kinda don't want people smiling at me, either.

We survived the day.  even pretty well, all things considered.

and a pretty red holiday cup makes a lot of things better.

right now?

thankful His Mercies are new every morning.

and really, really thankful for early-to-bed kiddos.

--------

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
   his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

A wednesday.

It's a Wednesday.

Grant's super excited because he's now officially earned 

four way-cool Transformers from his star charts.

for stuff like staying in bed at bedtime, listening super-well to mom, 

and sharing with Grace.

Grace is in her bed.

notice she's in her bed, not napping.

The Houdini herself can get out of every.single.way I tape/wrap/finagle her clothes onto her for nap.  And thus she keeps herself awake.

and thus I've cleaned up more than a few messes suitable for a hazmat squad.

so, as she's in her crib, I review for my Bible study tonight.

our last night in Colossians.

----

...Be steadfast in prayer...
{be courageously persistent in prayer, hold fast and not let go!}

 Colossians 4:2

My heart was challenged this week by the above passage and the parable in Luke 11.

What are you praying for today?

What are you praying for that seems unanswered?

Luke 11 tells us to keep on praying.  don't stop.  don't stop by an answer that seems like "no".

"...because of his persistence he will rise and give him whatever he needs..."

verse 8 of Luke 11

As we approach Orphan Sunday, a topic that's so close to my heart that I can barely even write about on this little blog of mine with out just breaking down and crying, I will keep on keeping on praying for the 147 million orphans in this world.  that go to bed with out someone to put clean, soft, fresh jammies on them. with out someone to rock them and hold them close.  with out someone to kiss their boo-boos and love them forever.  

Those are the orphans I pray for.

every.single.day.

and my unanswered prayer today? that I will keep on keeping on praying for?

for a sweet, sweet boy in Ug@nda who I will forever love and plead justice for.

pray with me, will you?

-----

The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

James 5:17

Friends

We've had lots of fun around here recently.

 

Dear, dear friends from our Dallas Seminary days came to visit us.  

you know, the kind of friends that even after not seeing each other for 3 years you can pick up right where you left off? 

 These friends of ours met us almost 10 years ago, 

when Matt and I had been married for just three months. {three months!}

for four days our household had a 1,2,3 and 4-year-old in it.

i loved it. a tad crazy at times, but the fun-and-fabulous-kinda-crazy.

we had lots of food, lots of playing, and lots of late night talks.

which proved I'm not as young as I used to be.

but oh-how-it-was worth these 2-in-the-morning nights, as my spirit was refreshed by these sweet friends of ours. how encouraging it is to visit with friends that walk this journey of ministry and raising-little-kids with us.  who will listen, laugh, and love on us when our souls get weary.  

these friends have walked with us during some of our hardest days...

{after our third miscarriage, as I was getting ready to go into surgery, my dear friend called me.  she told me she was so, so sorry...and cried with me on the phone.  at the time she apologized, but the way her heart hurt for us spoke more to me than her words could have}.

we are forever, forever grateful to them.

and promised not to go 3 more years with out seeing them!

love your friends today. encourage them.  pray for them.  

call them.  email them. text them. be vulnerable with them. trust them. challenge them. 

it will be worth it. 

-------------------

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

Proverbs 27:17

Just as I am

5 years ago this fall I was pregnant with this ridiculously sweet baby boy.

He was nameless at the time, though several names were high on my list.

Lincoln, Pierce, Anderson, William.

We discussed it lots.

got nowhere lots.

He was {finally} named about a week before he was born.

Grant Owen.

Fast forward two years...

 ...and our beautiful baby girl was nameless.

At 33 weeks, when the perinatologist left the room after deciding to do an emergency c-section, Matt and I looked at each other and said she needs a name, huh?

Grace Abigail it was.

So, after having our kiddos barely named when they were born, 

it's only fitting that after more than 5 years of blogging,

I finally settle on a blog name I love. 

Just as I am.

---------

It's the name that's been in my heart for awhile, 

but I hadn't been able to put words to it.

This blog, although at times to me it just seems like a silly little place where I write,  is truly my heart on paper.

My heart for my husband.

My heart for my kids.

My heart for our Savior.

I get humbled and blessed when people read this, my heart, comment, and say nice words...

for really, it's just me.

My night-owl-self.

my shoe-loathing, flip-flop-loving self.

my must-need-coffee self.
my heart-aches-for-orphans self.

my sometimes loud, need to think-before-i-speak self.

my broken, inadequate, humbled-before-God self.

This blog?

it's Just as I am.

Just as I am..

going through life, doing the absolute best job I can to love my husband well.

to love my children well. 

to love my Savior with my all of my heart, soul, and mind, and to love my neighbor as my self.

that's what I pray for for my life. every.single.day.

I fail. a lot. 

i doubt my Savior's plan. i get impatient with the kids.

but I repent, confess, and pray for Supernatural ability to do it better the next time.

Just as I am.

a midwestern girl at heart,

a sinner who placed her trust in Christ,

who longs to leave a legacy to her children and her children's children.

a legacy of love. of serving. of radical, life-changing love and service to our Savior.

---------


Just as I am, thy love unknown
hath broken every barrier down; 
now, to be thine, yea thine alone, 
O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Another Pancake Night!

Saturday night

usually means pancake night in our household.

cheap, easy, fast.

which is completely what our family needs as we head into Sunday morning!

Tonight was pancake night, blueberry style.

One of my favorite pancake tips?

I usually have my own "pancake mix" ready-to-go.

When I measure dry ingredients out to make a batch of pancakes,

I'll measure the same ingredients into 2 or 3 other bowls.

then dump the extra bowls into ziploc baggies and label them.

That way, on nights like tonight, when we're even more busy than normal

and the kids are more tired and need more attention 

and my house is a lego explosion so I can barely walk through the kitchen

all I have to do is dump the bag out, add the milk, egg, butter,

and cook.

{I happened to run out of baking powder when I made this - I do usually add all of the dry ingredients together!}

For some reason, having the dry ingredients pre-mixed makes the whole process way simpler.

{I do this for muffins, too! my own muffin mix!}

I haven't bought Bisquick or other pancake mix in years

because of this tip my mom taught me.

hope it helps you, too!

---------

notice the blog name change?
more about that tomorrow.

What I Would Say

{What I Would Say Today}

If I weren't so worried about offending.

--------

Love your kids. a lot.

play with them. pray with them.

laugh with them.

give up the laundry and play combines with them.

be nicer to them. be kinder to them. 

stop complaining about them.

they're only little once.

Be really, really gracious with your little ones.

We're called to be {tender-hearted}.

ephesians 4

why do we get the harshest with the littlest ones in our lives?

------

Grant had big tears in the grocery yesterday because he wanted a donut.

I caught myself wanting to tell him it was fine and to stop.

i paused and gathered myself.

and then knelt down right in the middle of the bakery section and hugged him close.

and told him i loved him, and I know it's sad when we don't get what we want.

because I have, for sure, cried out to God before when I'm disappointed.

does He harshly tell me to get over it and pull myself together?

no way.

He quiets me with His Love.

Zephaniah 3

---

{What I Would Say Today...}

if I weren't worried about offending

Love your family well.  

Love others well.

even radically.

today, choose to be radically patient and kind to the littles in your life.

to the bigs in your life.

{they will know us by our love.}

john 13

today, be kind in your words.

patient in your actions.

These little ones of ours are given Divinely to us.

today, i will embrace my 2-year-old's independence.

i will hug her when she freaks out, 

knowing how many times the Lord has scooped me up into His Loving arms when I am spiritually weary.

today, choose grace.

grace for your kids.

I will be compassionate  the midst of all potential 2-and-4-year-old-drama.

grace for yourself.

 i will not be frustrated that our guest bedroom is a laundry explosion.

and in choosing grace for our kids, 

remember that we model for them the Parent who committed the Ultimate Act of Grace.

do it well.

John 3:16