Paul's Ephesians Prayer

If you've been a Christian for any time,

I'm sure you've had the same experience I have in the {prayer request} arena -

you know, that time when you're in a group and the leader asks "what can we pray for?"

my co-worker's cousin has some medical issues.

my great-aunt fell and broke her hip.

my baby's not sleeping.

work is a lot right now.

Safe travels this weekend for my family.

y'all, I know that there's a time and a place for these kind of requests.

and I know there's a certain mystery in prayer...

a mystery that the God of this Universe, 

the God of Angel Armies, 

has chosen prayer as our way to fight that schemes of the Evil one...

the way to 

enter His presence 

to receive mercy and grace in our time of need.

I think it's partly the mystery around how-in-the-world prayer works

that makes us diminish the power of it, 

ignore the purpose of it,

and lower the prevalence of prayer in our lives.

have you ever felt like 

{al}l I'm doing is praying?

that is a lie straight from the Evil one

------------

early in the morning, 

my coffee cup full,

my hard-cover full-sized notebook opens.  

scrawled notes stare back at me.

my thoughts on ancient truths, I will my heart to absorb as much as it can,

whispering prayers as I humbly come before Him.

Opening my wide-margin, vintage floral Bible to Ephesians,

inspired words are about to challenge my own prayer life.

Paul, writing through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit,

prayers that God, the Father of all glory,

will give them wisdom  

{an objective understanding, as in, factual knowledge}

and that God would reveal 

{unveil, uncover}

knowledge of HIMSELF to the Ephesians church.

Paul prays that we would personally, intimately, know the God of the Universe.

in the still of the morning,

I got chills.

God will reveal Himself to us! 

humbling to the core of my being.

Paul is praying that GOD would reveal Himself to these Ephesians believers, 

that they would KNOW

- with a subjective understanding, a deep-down-in-their-heart kinda know -

the hope to which He has called them.

hope is our absolute certainty of victory in God.

Paul prays that

that they would KNOW the riches of His inheritance,

and KNOW the immeasurable greatness of His power -

that the SAME power God raised Christ from the dead is working in OUR lives.

That's what Paul was praying for.

That we would KNOW God HIMSELF better,

and that we would KNOW with all certainty, God is WORKING in our lives,

working in tremendous ways, and that we have ultimate victory in Christ.

{i can't think of any better thing for which to pray}.

because, you know?

as God is revealing His heart to me, 

and I become certain of his power in my life,

that kind of trumps all other prayer requests. 

Let's pray big, Biblical prayers for our friends and brothers and sisters in Christ.  I wonder what would change in our churches, our families, our communities, if we begin to regularly pray that God would reveal more of Himself to each of us.

{That's a prayer I can't wait to see answered}.

--

You know how in the beginning of lots of Paul letters he says he "in his prayers"?

that could potentially be a reference to the Jewish custom of specific prayer times -

kind of like Daniel prayed specific times of the day.

Do you have a specific pattern, routine, habit 

in which you're praying for your brothers and sisters in Christ? 

Maybe set a reminder on your phone...pray while you're driving...pray in the shower. Go through your Facebook list and pray as you scroll.

just pray. Big, Biblical prayers. that we may KNOW HIM better.

to the praise of His Glory.

For this reason, because I have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love^[f] toward all the saints, ¹⁶ I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers, ¹⁷ that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, ¹⁸ having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, ¹⁹ and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might ²⁰ that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places

Ephesians 1

 

Ephesians 1

i really love summer days. and, though I often grieve my kids not-being-so-little anymore,

I will say, ages 6 and 8 are good ages.

I can say stuff like "go get your swimsuits on", and, well, they DO. ;-)

 last week, during one of these fun summer days,

 a casual play-date turned not-so-casual.

and I learned my lesson:

never NOT wear my swimsuit to the pool with the kids.

-----------------------------------

I just started reading through and studying Ephesians with a friend,

and chapter 1 has my heart overflowing. 

the selection of the Father, the sacrifice of the son, the seal of the Holy Spirit...

just 14 verses hold such deep theological truth.

truth as in, 

we have been predestined.

Predestined = marked out before hand.

before the foundation of this world -

before the beginning, there was a beginning, and we were chosen. Chosen to be adopted as sons through Christ. nothing we have done, nothing we could ever do - 

just His supreme sovereignty chose us.

In that predestination, we have been redeemed and forgiven.

Redeemed has the language of slave trading - we have been traded from a life of sin, a life of slavery to the bonds of that sin, to sons and daughters of the Almighty King, with an eternal inheritance.

we have been redeemed.

{Redeemed!}

--

Last week, at that playdate, our kids were happy and playing.

my sweet 6-year-old went to the shallow end, 

and that's where my mistake happened.

sure, sweetie, you can take your floaties off.

the floaties always stay on. 

she happily played in the shallow end.

then she and a friend decided to hang on to the edge of the pool and work themselves around the perimeter. the perimeter of the pool, including the deep end.

  about 20 feet away, I yelled to her -

you don't have your floaties on! hang on to the edge.

I turned my head and then a second later turned back to her,

and all-in-an-instant my 6-year-old is in the middle of the deep end,

arms swirling above her head, eyes wide.

I am instantly at the edge.

Grace! come to the edge! 

her eyes bigger, simultaneously gulping air and water, barely afloat,

she shakes her head at me. 

She can't get to the edge.

and with out a second thought,

without thinking about whether or not my phone is in my pocket or not,

or if I should take my fairly-new-probably-shouldn't get-chlorine-on-it white cardigan off or not,

I am in that pool.

I am in that pool fully clothed, 

not caring about anything except for the fact that my precious girl cannot get her head above water.

my arms circle around her, pulling her up.

she coughs and then cries.

she's scared.

so scared that she didn't get off my lap the rest of the time at the pool. she was the first to leave the pool, the first to get her swimsuit off, the first to sit on my lap during dinner.  She wanted her momma's reassurance.  

and her momma needed her precious girl close, too. 

took me a full evening to calm down from that close call!

and as I read Ephesians and read REDEEMED,

I imagine the God of the universe, standing by the edge of that pool for my own life,

and before I even realized I am drowning in my spiritual state,

He jumped in. He didn't even blink an eye, didn't check to see if there were any other better prospects to save...He jumped in my pool,

and rescued me from my spiritual drowning.

to the praise of His glorious grace.

and now, my heart begs me to ask,

am I living like this?

am I living like I have been redeemed?

Or am I inching my way back around the perimeter of that pool, seeing how close I can get to the deep end of sin  - without fully drowning...

not knowing that that deep end is  pull me under before I can do anything about it, and I will soon be gulping and gasping for air?

am I living like I have been redeemed? forgiven? bought with a price? Am I so sensitive to the Spirit's leading in my life? Am I so sensitive to sin that my be lurking?

am I living like the God of Angel Armies jumped in after me? 

Am I the first person to cling to my Abba Father, not wanting to leave His side, 

but feeling safety in His presence?

I hope so.

I hope you are, too.

------

if you'd like to follow along, grab your Bible and study Ephesians 1 this week! come back and comment...I'd love to read them and see what your thoughts are.

 

Happy 6th Birthday, Grant

this blog started, long ago, as just a simple way to keep my family (read: MOM) up-to-date with family stuff.

fun family stuff like birthday parties.

and, a couple of weeks ago, we had a very special birthday party for my favorite just-turned-6-year-old.  i may be a couple weeks behind, but never late than never, right?

so, let's play a little blog-world re-wind here.

6 years ago, 

i sat in a hospital bed,

not knowing how soon grant owen's arrival would become.

in a last-night-of-no-kids,

matt and i shared a dinner of all my favorite pregnancy foods-

mexican enchiladas, 

panera's cheese danishes, 

and coldstone creamery's cheesecake icecream.

we stayed up late in the hospital room talking.

overflowing with the excitement and feelings of having a baby soon.

and then,

in a whirlwind of emergency and emotion,

grant owen entered the world.

{to my son}

grant,

you are my favorite little boy.

if i could hit pause on this journey of life,

i would have you be 6 for a long while.

every day, you become more of your daddy - 

his logic,

his dependability,

his even-keeled temper.

you are your father's son.

last week,

when the fan in your room started making noise,

you decided to open the dresser drawers to change the air flow to see if that helped the fan.

seriously.

you, my son,

discussed {air flow}.

those engineering genes of your dad's?

they run strong, apparently.

     every day,  you are your father.

i love it.

i love seeing your mind in work.

i just pray that as much as you inherit that engineering DNA,

you also have your father's love for our Abba Father.

your father's absolutely dedication to living a life worthy of the calling.

Happy birthday, Grant.
May you seek Him all the days of your life. 

Father's Day

Our 8-year-old has been taking karate lessons for the past several months.

one of my favorite lines that the instructor repeats often is this:

we only use these moves for self-defense. Never to fight, and never on siblings. ;-)

Grant's earned his way up 3 belts, and we've seen in build confidance, self-control, and coordiantion -

all good qualities for an 8-year-old-boy to improve upon. 

Last week I had a conference with one of the instructors during classtime to talk about how we've seen Grant improve, and to inform me of the future class options.  As we started the conference the Sensei asked me several questions about Grant, and then we got to this one:

What kind of man do you want Grant to grow into in the future,

 and how do you think martial arts could help that?

as I paused, I saw Grant out of the corner of my eye round-house-kicking and forward-lunging through the two-way-mirror, 

and I all-of-a-sudden bit back tears in that small, humid karate office.

for as my heart and mind flash-forwarded Grant to the man I'd like him to become,

I realized there's nothing I'd rather him be than a man like his Dad is.  

I envisioned Grant loving his wife and his family with an unswerving, unshakeable loyalty and love, just as Matt has done for us.  I envisioned Grant full of integrity...that that man that people will know the adult Grant to be will be the man that he is in private.  My heart envisioned Grant being rooted and built up in the Word of God, and fervently and steadfastly preaching and teaching that Word, proclaiming His glory for all to hear.  

I bit back my tears in that karate office, and told the Sensei I wanted Grant to love his God, his wife, and his family well, an answer I'm sure that instructor did not see coming.

But there's no other answer I'd rather have for the question of 

What kind of man do I want Grant to be?

than a man just like his daddy.

Happy Father's day to the man who points us all to Him.

we love you so much, Matt! Thanks for loving us so well.

January 10, 2007, the day that made Matt a dad.

Just Because He Lives

Writing is often my therapy.

and, okay, coffee, candy, and some shopping, too.;-)

I sit down at the keyboard, with a steaming cup of strong coffee,

and the words that are often so hard for me to verbalize come flowing out,

flowing from a deep, deep place in my heart that often begins in the dark, early morning hours with my coffee and my Bible.

I know I said here I'd be writing.

 I've wanted to,

but have hesitated.

I never ever want to sensationalize my health difficulties.  or write about them so many times that y'all are like, anna, get a new neurological disease to talk about. ;-) 

but, as Luke says, 

from the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.

and how does my heart overflow with what *He* has done for me!

i can't help but share.

Share how faithful our Sovereign Lord has been there to meet me in 

every.single.moment of fear, of questions, of uncertainty over the last three years.

some Easter decor on my mantle reads

{I know my Redeemer Lives}

and my heart skips a beat when I read it.

three years ago,

when the line of before-MS and after-MS had officially been crossed in my life,

and we had been catapulted into a whirwind of every-single-neurological test possible, all leading towards a diagnosis.

 we got closer and closer to Easter.

 and I got closer and closer and closer to the darkest fear of my heart being realized.

it was within these months of waiting that I would jump in the middle of the night,

instantly awake, heart racing.

all I would hear with every beat of my pounding heart was 

multiple sclerosis

thud thud thud thud

multiple sclerosis multiple sclerosis multiple sclerosis.

thudthudthudthudthud.

and my first thought of my racing brain would be

{it wasn't a dream}.

And then I would be up for the day, in the wee hours of the morning, while the rest of my house slept in seemingly blissful unawareness.  it was these months that my internet was permanently fixed to MS research - AND what-could-my-symptoms-be *besides* MS research, and while my Bible was permanently open to Job, the tear stained pages greeting me morning after morning after morning.

we had test after test after test,

all coming back within normal limits.

expect tests pointing towards the one thing my heart feared.

and we got closer and closer to Easter,

and my heart raced with fear.

 all-encompassing, all-consuming fear.

and then through a series of scriptures,

the Lord addressed every.single.one of my fears.

not giving me any answers,

but telling my heart to stop asking why and start asking Who.

Who is going to fight for me?

Who has done great things for me previously in my life?

Who has planned my days from the foundations of the earth?

Who has promised me to never, ever forsake me?

Who is going to walk with me, even if I am not walking?

And as the Lord addressed my fears, we got closer to Easter Sunday.

And my heart started singing the old song I always sang 

growing up in my Baptist church on Easter Sunday:

Because He Lives,

I can face tomorrow.

Because He lives,

All fear is gone.

Because I know, who holds the future,

and life is worth the living, just because He lives.

And singing that song leading up to Easter Sunday brought me to my knees before a Holy God,

knowing that through His Son's Resurrection, Death was conquered.  And in conquering death, He brings abundant life, even in the face of neurological disease.

hallelujah, the stone was rolled away! hallelujah, the tomb was empty.

three years later,

my heart races with fear much less frequently.

relapses or symptoms getting worse may remind me of that fear,

but they remind me oh-so-much-more of How He has conquered death and fear,

and my life is worth the living, just because He lives.

i have hope for now, and so-much-more-hope for eternity, just because HE lives. 

even if my MS becomes debilitating in *this* life, how-much-more will my glorified, perfected body mean to me as I am finally able to walk upon streets of gold, face-to-face with my Savior, my body never again stained with the sin of this world?

hallelujah, the stone was rolled away! hallelujah, the tomb was empty.

And three years later I'm still singing 

- and even 30 years from now, if the Lord grants me that - 

may I still sing with the army of angels - 

Because HE lives,

I can face tomorrow.
Because He lives,
all fear is gone.
Because He lives -

even with multiple sclerosis -

I can face tomorrow.

Just because He lives.

---------------------------------------------------------------

another of my favorite Easter songs.

Multiple Sclerosis

It's almost mind-bogling that it's been three years. 

3 years full of their own challenges, trials, and heartache.

Three very long and yet oh-so-fast years since the line of demarcation in my life.

the line that almost visibly marked itself

 - before multiple sclerosis, after multiple sclerosis.

------------------------

I try hard not to talk about multiple sclerosis - 

*not* because I'm not okay with it, because only through the grace of God, 

I am very, very okay with MS.

 I can discuss symptoms, challenges, problems 

without any of the shock-and-awe I had three years ago.

however, I never want to be one of those people

 that goes on and on and on about health issues or my personal problems.  I know everyone has their own {hard} that's equally challenging and faith-building, and I never diminish that.

 MS is just my own personal journey. 

But Psalm 107 says 

Let the redeemed of the LORD say so, whom he has redeemed from trouble.

And?

Oh, how the Lord has redeemed me! so much grace, so much mercy, so much redemption -

How can I NOT talk about it?

So, as I become so very, very close to the day that three years ago sent us into

 a whirlwind of medical tests, deep, deep emotions, 

and a season of our hearts crying out to Him more intensely than ever before,

I'm saying so.

Saying how He has been so very, very faithful.  

Through His sovereign plan,

He has allowed me to walk this journey of MS.

He met me so deeply, so personally amidst the pain,

that now, looking back on my diagnosis, it was one of the sweetest, richest times of my spiritual life than ever before.  I could almost feel the presence of the Lord in my life. so many mornings with coffee and tear-stained pages, verses like

{they loved not their lives, even unto death} 

touched my heart in such powerful ways, 

they kept me from racing ahead with the overwhelming fear and anxiety that a progressive neurological disease brought.

Over the next few days, I will continue to write.  Write about what He's taught me through MS, what He's done in my heart, and how every single day my tingling, numbness, weakness, only provides such a tangible reminder of His grace, and How I need Him desperately - as we all so do.

Lord, How we need you!

I write not for anything I've done -

ALL for what HE has done.

for our All-Sovereign, All-Powerful Lord has done so very, very much.

Let the Redeemed of the Lord say so.