Wednesday.

 Morning peace.

Before this beautiful, spunky, just-turned-2-year-old girl...

 

Starts her rampage of the house

. 

It makes my heart so, so happy, though, to have my little girl laughing and playing {and terrorizing!}

and that these can be cut off. 

 

Back Home Again

Once again, three words:

We are home.

{Although this time, I'm kinda wondering for how long}.

Grace did end up having a short nasal surgery today.

 She's home now, in bed, asleep, after eating two full pieces of pizza and a clementine after not being allowed to eat all day!

The shocker of the surgery?

There was still some stray cow fuzz, or moo fur, as our house calls it, up her nose.

{I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried!}

gracie.  doesn't she look like she's contemplating all that's been happening?

We were shocked because when we were in the hospital a week ago she had a scope up her nose, which declared her all clear.

However, a scope with an awake (and screaming and kicking and wiggling) two-year-old is not as good apparently as a scope when she's sedated.

So, thank goodness for a skittle up the nose!

The stray moo fur could have harbored more toxic shock infection...and landed us back in the hospital.

We are amazed at the Lord's working.  

And?

kinda tired.

I'm going to eat some icecream.  Watch a movie.  and then sleep.

Unbelievable

This girl...

...has a skittle stuck up her nose right now.

No, I'm not joking.

And yes, I promise we watch our children!

Calling the E.N.T in the morning.
I'm thinking she'll probably need sedated to get it out.

{didn't I just blog about wanting to write about lighter stuff?}

I'm thinking nothing smaller than 4 inches will ever be allowed in our house again.

Will keep you updated!

After the Appointment Update

We're all pretty excited about the doctor's appointment Grant had today.

Just absolutely fantastic news!

no more swelling in his wrists, knees, or ankles.

Full mobility is back in his ankles!

His labwork is great.

{except for one something-or-other level that the rheumatologist didn't seem too concerned about.  We might repeat that level in 2 months, but for now, I'm choosing to not google it.}

We're staying pretty status quo for now:

same non-steroid anti-inflammatory.

four milligrams, three times a day.

return in two months.

My main concern for today's appointment was how fatigued he still is.  

There could be several reasons, but we're hoping that his stamina is just pretty low from how sick he was for so many months.

So, basically, we get him outside a lot to play this summer.  

{I think we can handle that.}

After seemingly endless doctor's appointments that included spinal tap, leukemia, meningitis, sepsis, and toxic shock in the discussions, it.was.fabulous. to walk out of the doctor's office with a 

you're doing great!

from the doctor. 

So, now, hopefully, I can blog about lighter things. 

Like how we're out of Diet Coke and I'm dying for one.

Thanks for praying with me, friends. 

The JRA continues

These two little kids have been keeping us busy recently!

{busier than usual!}

Here's what's going on with the oldest G:

 

Three weeks ago we visited the pediatric rheumatologist at Riley Children's Hospital.

The absolutely fantastic news from that appointment is that his blood work came back beautifully.

His white blood cell count was {finally}completely normal.

{A normal WBC count almost entirely rules out the possibility of leukemia}.

 We have been giving him a new medicine for the past 2 weeks.

Basically the strongest non-steroid anti-inflammatory he can have.

It.is.a.miracle.drug!

The pain, the complete fatigue and exhaustion - it's all better!

We are so happy to get our cheerful little boy back.  

He's happy, cooperative, and sleeping only slightly more than normal.

We are hopeful that this medicine will keep the JRA symptoms under control, so we don't have to move on to a stronger treatment!

We return to the ped. rheumatologist tomorrow afternoon.  

We are anticipating getting the official 

Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis 

diagnosis.

 I am also anticipating and hoping to get a few more details about this disease and the future treatment plan.

For now, we are blessed that we have an excellent doctor only 40  minutes from us, that Grant will *take* this new medicine fairly easily, and that it's seeming to truly help.

{To be honest for a moment?}

I could pretty easily get pretty freaked out about what the future may hold for our sweet boy.  My heart aches for him...I would love for him to avoid more pain, more stiffness, more exhaustion, more medicines that may have serious side effects.  I would love for him to not have to take medicine 3x a day at just 4 years old.

But, I'm trusting.  Trusting that His plan is perfect, that HE will keep us and love us and guide us.

And keep Grant and love Grant and guide Grant.

Even in the middle of a degenerative disease.

Even in the middle of whatever the future may hold.

And that even through it all, good stuff will happen.

For His glory.

Now therefore stand still and see this great thing that the LORD will do before your eyes.

I Sam. 12:16

 

Part 2, In Three Words

We. are. HOME.

Our sweet Grace, part 1

Many of you have been praying for our sweet and spunky just-turned-2-year-old, Grace.

Thursday afternoon we were sent straight from the doctor's office to the emergency room at the local Children's hospital.

Grace had a high fever, bright red feet, and an unusual rash.
All signs of toxic shock syndrome.

The ER got us in immediately, and within a few minutes of seeing her the ER doctor told me to prepare myself to stay for awhile-at the the very least a couple of days.

So, a ton of blood work, a CT scan, x-ray, and a whole bunch of antibiotic later, we're pretty certain it's definitely toxic shock and not the scarier stuff this rash can mean like meningitis or sepsis.

{we've been talking way too much recently about a scary stuff and our kids, haven't we?)

Saturday Night Thoughts

I'm supposed to be working on grad work.  Final projects due, uh, tomorrow.

I am working on it. Truly.  

Having a hard time focusing, but my night-person self is just gearing up for the evening.

Totally ignoring the fact that, uh, Sunday is kind of a big deal in our family and I'm usually in bed by this point on Saturdays.  And, I'm teaching the 3 & 4-year-old class tomorrow.  I LOVE them and LOVE teaching them. But, can I keep up with 8 or so preschoolers on 5 hours of sleep?  

I'm thinking a lot of coffee is in store!

Y'all know that I was in Africa for two weeks in February.  My heart will forever be changed.

  You simply cannot walk away from so much poverty and injustice and orphans and not be.

While we were there we met so many awesome girls and people who are living there, serving Him, and truly making a difference.  For example, Katie Davis with Amazima Ministries.  

She's in her early 20's, has adopted several beautiful girls, and runs a feeding program that serves over 1,600 children every week!

Seriously, she's making a difference. A radical difference!

And, that's been my prayer since I got back from Africa.  

That I would make a difference - a radical difference - for eternity.

The Lord hasn't put us in Ug@nda, East Africa.  But, He has put me here. right HERE.  with my beautiful family.  With our incredible church body.  With friends and family that love us.

So, as I've wrestled with balancing poverty and injustice and orphan care with Starbucks and Pottery Barn and Target, I've prayed that I will be radical. For the sake of the kingdom. in our little world, right here.

The Bishop of London said something during his sermon at the Royal wedding (which, folks, seriously, wasn't Kate just absolutely gorgeous?) that my heart has been contemplating.  

It sums up my prayer, for myself, my family...and you.

“Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.”

Now, I'm back to my Diet Coke, popcorn, and affective needs of gifted and talented students.

Good night!

Our Favorite Four Year Old

 

We've had a lot of people telling us that they've been praying for us recently.  And, yes, this gets us all as excited as it does Grace.  We are also extraordinarily humbled that you would go before the throne on behalf of our favorite four year old. 

For the past months we've been dealing with some health issues with Grant.  

Fatigue, leg pain, swollen lymph nodes, random high fevers.

We've been working with a pediatric rheumatologist at Riley Children's Hospital.  

We saw her again today. 

Grant was a bit shy at the doctor's office...

...but my ipod, some special candy, and a green shake later, we all survived the day.

No "official" diagnosis, although the dr. did say that it's really looking like 

Systemic Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis.

We got more blood work done today, with the special "magic" cream on his arms that makes it not hurt 

{as much}.

Apparently we're ruling out some muscle diseases and other freak things...and we'll go back in 2 weeks.  The doctor reassured that she does not think this is a malignancy, although the another CBC that has a normal WBC count will be reassuring. 

because, you know, us moms? we worry.  

you do not want to know the results you get if you google Grant's symptoms

however reassuring, the doctor did mention discussing a bone marrow biopsy in our return visit in 2 weeks,  to completely rule-out scary stuff. we are praying hard for nothing scary.  seriously hard.  I can almost not even write about the scary stuff.  

So, pray hard with me?  The need for a bone marrow biopsy is contingent on today's blood work and his symptoms over the next couple of weeks.

We also have a new medicine, another NSAID. Our biggest issue right now is Grant's level of fatigue...the poor guy is tired, and asking to go to bed, even after sleeping for hours and hours and hours.

{the medical reason is the sedementation rate, which measures inflammation.  his sed rate is high, presumably from the JRA, which makes him exhausted all.the.time.  we'll get his recent sed. rate back tomorrow}.

But, we are thankful that the last medicine he was on was a miracle drug for about a month.  

We had our happy, easy-going, cheerful little boy back!  

We are praying the new med works even better.  

That his four-year-old little body will be free from pain.

And that the Lord would use this in Grant's life, to ultimately draw him to Himself.

Thank-you for praying with us and for us.  

Our hearts ache for our sweet little boy,

and it is humbling and encouraging in so many ways to know your hearts ache with ours.

Thank-you for loving Grant through your prayers.  We are all so, so thankful for them.

Grant

Our favorite 4-year-old. 

He loves to paint. and cut.  and use markers.

He loves to ride his bike. fast.  

but outside he promises to go *very very slowly* to avoid having to wear his helmet.  

(which he's unsuccessful at).

He loves robots.  he wants one with a remote control and that can talk and sing and blast off.

(think the Target toy aisle can hook us up with that?)

He's funny, and has a remarkable memory! 

The little man can.remember.everything.

He finds joy so easily, which warms my heart.

{maybe we should all be so excited to see a plant grow or a loved one come home from work!} 

He's extremely social, and cares about his little friends so much.

On Sunday mornings, he starts listing off the friends he hopes will be at church to play with!

he is eager to go fishing with his daddy, and thinks that all the fish we eat daddy caught.

(How cute is that?)

My heart overflows with love for this little man, our Grant.  

And now our hearts ache with prayer for him.

For those of you who don't know, months ago he started complaining of his legs hurting.

{just growing pains, right?}

Well, the leg pain persisted.  and persisted. and got more serious.

In the mornings, he started shuffling like a 80-year-old-man. 

He wouldn't climb into his carseat, and limped as he walked.

He was exhausted, all the time.

swollen lymph nodes, and intense belly pain.

Our little man was hurting.

We've now seen a specialist.  A pediatric rheumatologist.

We've started on a medicine that is doing wonders.  We are so very thankful for great treatment! 

We go back in a month and will get an official diagnosis of one thing or another.

Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis is what we're looking at...

but there are always prayers and hope that it's "just" some random something.

So, thank-you for praying and hoping with us.  That if this IS a degenerative disease, our sweet Grant will be protected.  That the treatment will remain working.  And that his little body is protected from long term, permanent damage.

So that he can keep on painting and cutting and using his markers.  

And playing with his robots.  

And riding his bike as fast as he can!

{with a helmet on, of course}

Grant Owen, you are loved. 

you are prayed for.

more than you know, little man, more than you know.

Africa Re-wound, Part 1

I was planning on blogging about my trip to Africa while I was there, but computer time was shared and limited. 

But, it's okay.  

Because my heart is totally still there, so sharing my trip with you now is so good for me.

It's hard to summarize a third-world country.  So much poverty and heartache.  So much injustice. 

(Children denied medical care.  Babies who are dying, literally, because of indifferent orphanage directors.  Child prisoners who are fed one meal a day.  The injustice is mind-boggling).

But Uganda is also a beautiful, beautiful country, with warm, hard-working, open-hearted people.  There's a simplistic beauty in their way of life, and my heart will be forever changed by spending two weeks holding babies, playing with orphans, and serving people living in poverty.

Here's a glimpse.  For more, you'll have to travel yourself.  Seriously - once you go, you'll never come back. {well, you might come back in person, but your heart will never be the same. I promise.}.

Really, really good coffee in the middle-of-the-night Amsterdam.  The flight to Amsterdam passed surprisingly quickly, although I can never sleep on planes.  I had a moment of panic in the O'Hare airport, that I am so, so, so thankful that I actually boarded the plane instead of running screaming in the other direction.

 

It took a bit in the Entebbe airport to gather all of our suitcases and donation conticos. How blessed we were to be able to take so much stuff with us to pass out!

Shauna, our fearless leader, and Love, my friend who led my heart to Uganda over a year ago, eating lunch on Monday, our first full day in Kampala.

Monday we went to the babies' home that will forever have me changed.  I will forever hug my children tighter, feed them more with out any word of complaint that it's their 1,123 snack for the day, and always, always, always hold and love them even more than I always have.

Do you see the metal, rusted play equipment? And dirt?   That's what these sweet children play with.  The sweet children who wear, literally, towels for diapers.  Who have food taken.away.from.them simply because the worker wants to wash the dishes right.this.second.  Who learn to comfort themselves, because the comfort is not given freely.  

I have always, always, always believed in attachment parenting, and I will forever be even more confident in that philosophy after seeing children who stop crying in the middle of the night because no one comes.  It's heart-breaking, right?  I have cried, and will forever cry, so many tears for these sweet children.

Through my tears, though, I have to trust that the Lord loves these children even more than I do.  There will be sweet babies who will always be in my heart, and I will pray for them for the rest of my life.  I trust - I have to trust - that even amidst poverty, hunger, and injustice, the Lord will prevail. That He will be glorified.  

That He will hold them tightly in His arms, even when no one else is. 

That He will love them, when no one else does.  

{Pray for them with me, alright?}

On the Go

This Girl? 

She is always on-the-go!

How I love her! 

{Even though the faster she gets, the bigger the house seems!}

Happy Valentine's Day

2 years ago Matt and I celebrated Valentine's Day in the hospital. 

{seriously!}

I had my second pulmonary embolism, and  was attached to a heparin IV.  Grace, then known as Baby Girl, was doing fabulously, though the pregnancy was far from easy.

Every day, just to get out of my hospital room, I'd stroll through the hospital gift shop and cafeteria.

On one trip through the gift shop, I came across a Willow Tree Figurine of a family. 

{Do you know the Willow Tree collection? I'm not a knick-knack person, but I do have a few of their figurines, and they're all very special to me, for their own reasons}.

So, right then, I shopped for Matt for Valentine's Day, in the hospital gift shop, while pulling my IV pole.

Here's the letter I wrote him to go with the family figure. 
2 years later, it's still so completely my heart.

Matt, I love you.  Always and Forever.  
Happy Valentine's Day.

My wonderful Love,

18 weeks ago, I had no idea how much 2 pink lines would change our lives. Over the past 5 months you have shown your relentless commitment to me and our marriage. (You have proven that you were serious about that “in sickness and health” part of our vows! ;-)) You have been endlessly compassionate and understanding. For months you have taken care of me, of Grant, and our house, showing that quiet strength that I love so much about you. This is not the path I would have chosen for this pregnancy to take, but I trust that the Lord will use it for His purposes and to display His Glory.

So, Happy Valentine’s Day, My Sweet! I wasn’t planning on shopping for you in the hospital gift shop, but I saw this figurine and thought it was just perfect for us right now. I feel like if our marriage can survive these past months, we can do anything together! I thought this looking at this figurine could always remind us of God’s grace on our marriage during this pregnancy – as He’s protected me and Baby Girl, and has given you the grace, love,and kindness to care for me so tirelessly for so long.

I love you so much, Matt! I love the way your eyes crinkle up when you laugh. I love the way your quiet strength shines through even the most difficult situations. I love the way you handle whatever God gives us with a quiet, steadfast faith. I love you, I love you, I love you – I don’t think I could say it enough.

I’m hoping that the next 14 weeks of pregnancy are much, much smoother, but even if they’re not, I know that we can get through it, together.

You hold my heart, always.

Love,

Anna

Confused?

Yes, totally switching blogs.  

Back to my personal blog, that I've had for years.
but sharing it with all of you now.

Whoever "you" may be!

Afternoon Snack

Snacktime.

{do you know how to cut one?}

Totally missing African pineapple right now. Well, really, totally missing Africa in general right now. 

But, I'm playing with the kids.  Cutting snacks up.  Prepping supper.  

But wishing I could share my food with some of the orphans that are starving.  

Especially one little boy, who will forever have my heart.  

Praying for him, and the rest of the 147 million orphans worldwide.  

So thankful I got to hold and love a few of them!

Worship in chains

Today we went to "M".

A place where they place "child prisoners".
{none of these children have done anything to deserve being there.}

or, where parents can simply drop of their children, never to see them again.
They get one shirt. one pair of pants. Maybe a mattress.
If they do get a mattress, it's 23 years old.
peed on for 23 years.

More to come on the awful, vile conditions, but I wanted to share a clip of them worshipping our Savior with you.

What true worship. Worship because of Who God IS, not because of what He's given to us.
Amazing.

Moments

 Sick Grant and myself, waiting for the dr.


favorite moment from the day: snuggling with my favorite four-year-old at the dr.'s office. reading Cat and the Hate while waiting.  In all of his congestion he was reading along with me and chatting about the pictures.  As bad as I feel that he's sick, the {1 1/2 hour} wait for the dr. gave me such good time with him before I leave for Africa!

[re] learned today: our lives are so, so short.  Choose to do stuff that will count for eternity!

said one million & thirty six times today: I know you don't, buddy. 

{in response to "I not feel well, momma}.

frivolous thing i'm most thankful for right now: Diet Coke.

song i'm listening to right now:Lead Me by Sanctus Real

[okay....now it's your turn! you answer these 5 things.]

Monday

 gracie. 

A week from today, I'll be in Africa.

Kind of mind-blowing, really.  I'll be across the globe, serving, for His Glory.  

My to-do list is long.  Today I'm definitely feeling the pressure of leaving in 5 days.

My heart overflows, too.  Overflows with thankfulness that I just get to GO.  With hurt for the orphaned and oppressed.  With anger at injustice.  With awe at the God we serve.

As I tackle the to-do list, it's with excitement. anticipation. 

praying for God to use me, use our whole team, to be a light in darkness.  

to be used in some small way to share the love of Christ.

Off to make soup. and enchiladas. and pack. and clean. and read. and organize. and play.

Hope you're having a good Monday!

Silly Gracie

Leaving for Africa soon.

Although I'm beyond-words excited, I am going to miss my sweet kiddos terribly.

 Soaking up all their sweet silliness before I go.

Moo

This girl

loves her moo.

So much, she even wants to eat with it.

Oh, how my heart loves the way she loves her moo!

Happy Monday Morning!

 

:my newest favorite tights on the cutest baby girl:

I sit, with my coffee, next to a not-so-baby-boy who's also still waking up. Our plans for today?

Laundry

Combines and Thomas the Trains

Closet Organization
(yes, I'm serious about the closet stuff).

Moos and Doggies

play doh

physical therapy for the moo-lover

groceries

and a whole lot of giggling and zooming around the house!

Better finish my coffee before all of the fun begins! 

And blooooooow!

After the sick left this household {that has had way more than our fair share this winter of it!}, we were able to celebrate our favorite-4-year-old's birthday.

So, happy 4th birthday, sweet Grant!

You are the one that made me a mom!

You are the one that made the years of infertility treatments and losses so very worth it. You are the one that made me sing the miracles of swaddling and swinging. {and swinging some more}. You are the one that made me educated and confident about breastfeeding. You are the one that made me love pushing dump trucks and vroom-vroom-vrooming cars.

You are the one that makes me make willingly make scrambled eggs at 6:45 in the morning. You are the one that makes my heart melt when you scrunch up your nose when trying to be serious. You are the one that makes me so proud of how energetic and willing you are to try new things. You are the one that makes my heart melt when I see how compassionate you are to your friends.

You, Grant, are the boy I cherish. I adore how easy going and chatty you are, and how excited you get, just about life.

I love your pure silliness, your love for all things messy, and your sweet, sensitive heart. 

 May the next year bring your heart closer to the One who loves you the Most.

Four

This sweet boy of ours is four today.



And he woke up throwing up.

Poor guy!!

So, we moved the birthday festivities around and he sat around, in his fuzzy-jammies-from-last-winter-that-he-loves-so-much-that-we-still-squeeze-him-into-them, watching Curious George and sipping clear liquids.

I loved on him as well as I could today, getting him the food he wanted (a little bit of white cheese and a little bit of yellow cheese and some bread to make it real yummy okay mom?), and snuggled him when he wanted.

Not the birthday we had planned for him, but my heart was still so thankful that I could be here, taking care of my sick, sweet boy.

The sweet boy, who, when recently making meatballs with me, just blurts out: God isn't here.

Caught of guard, I paused and responded, "nope, God is here...we just can't see him. God's always with us and takes care of us."

Grant stared back at me, and in his sweet way of furrowing up his nose and eyebrows said, "ooooh, yes, God IS here.

Let's share meatballs with him".



Somehow, I think God would love meatballs from a just-turned-four-year-old.

Monday Happy List

What I'm Happy for Today:

Time to be at home all day today to organize the family room. One room down, whole house to go! How fabulous it feels to have at least one room {pretty much} organized!


A husband who gladly hangs curtains for me, and patiently moves the curtain rod "down more, over more, the other way" for the gazillionth time because he loves me.



A Christmas craft that gave me special one on one time with Grant while his sister was napping. How meticulous he was putting the "decorates" on the foam trees!



A day of {for-the-most-part} happy play and sharing between the kiddos! How I love having kids close together!


And lastly, I'm so happy for a Baby Girl who loves being held, and who loves her momma. :heart: