Multiple Sclerosis

It's almost mind-bogling that it's been three years. 

3 years full of their own challenges, trials, and heartache.

Three very long and yet oh-so-fast years since the line of demarcation in my life.

the line that almost visibly marked itself

 - before multiple sclerosis, after multiple sclerosis.

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I try hard not to talk about multiple sclerosis - 

*not* because I'm not okay with it, because only through the grace of God, 

I am very, very okay with MS.

 I can discuss symptoms, challenges, problems 

without any of the shock-and-awe I had three years ago.

however, I never want to be one of those people

 that goes on and on and on about health issues or my personal problems.  I know everyone has their own {hard} that's equally challenging and faith-building, and I never diminish that.

 MS is just my own personal journey. 

But Psalm 107 says 

Let the redeemed of the LORD say so, whom he has redeemed from trouble.

And?

Oh, how the Lord has redeemed me! so much grace, so much mercy, so much redemption -

How can I NOT talk about it?

So, as I become so very, very close to the day that three years ago sent us into

 a whirlwind of medical tests, deep, deep emotions, 

and a season of our hearts crying out to Him more intensely than ever before,

I'm saying so.

Saying how He has been so very, very faithful.  

Through His sovereign plan,

He has allowed me to walk this journey of MS.

He met me so deeply, so personally amidst the pain,

that now, looking back on my diagnosis, it was one of the sweetest, richest times of my spiritual life than ever before.  I could almost feel the presence of the Lord in my life. so many mornings with coffee and tear-stained pages, verses like

{they loved not their lives, even unto death} 

touched my heart in such powerful ways, 

they kept me from racing ahead with the overwhelming fear and anxiety that a progressive neurological disease brought.

Over the next few days, I will continue to write.  Write about what He's taught me through MS, what He's done in my heart, and how every single day my tingling, numbness, weakness, only provides such a tangible reminder of His grace, and How I need Him desperately - as we all so do.

Lord, How we need you!

I write not for anything I've done -

ALL for what HE has done.

for our All-Sovereign, All-Powerful Lord has done so very, very much.

Let the Redeemed of the Lord say so.